By Michael Mondezie
Most people reflect in private before showing the world a finished version of themselves. Destra Garcia is doing hers in real time, in front of her fans.
When Destra first staged Reflections last April, it wasn’t really about the concert. It was about finishing something she had started years ago. A promise she had made to herself and to her God.
But delivering on that promise didn’t settle what she was still trying to understand about herself.
“I am free again, but I’m still searching… I know that it’s really hard to stay on path 100 per cent, but I’m working at it,” Destra told the Xvibes. “I’m a work in progress.”
That is where she is now. Not presenting a final version of herself. Not trying to tie anything up neatly. But, still searching, still figuring it out.
Her reflections, she explains, did not begin with the concert. They go all the way back to a decision she made early in her career to bring gospel into her music and to honour that part of herself fully.
“The first edition of Reflections was really just me finishing something that I started,” Destra explained. “It was about the album that I started in 2003 and then continuing to do that for eight years and stopping and making that promise to myself and God that I would return to complete this project.”
Somewhere along the way, that intention got pushed aside.
“I got busy and then life happened and then I started to be distracted and I started to be pulled in all other directions,” she continued.
Still, the feeling that something had been left undone never really went away. So, she stepped back because she knew she had to.
“Taking time off made me reflect and remember what promises I made to myself and God… and that I needed to complete that,” she said. “Being able to answer that call brought me back on path.”
That return pulled her back to something that had always been part of her life.
“My dad being a reverend, my mother being a spiritual Baptist, growing up in church, singing for the Lord,” she said, “those things kept me grounded and those things still keep me grounded.”
And that grounding, she says, is what allows her to navigate everything else in her life.
“Even when I sing soca, there’s a lot of influences around, a lot of energies that I could not get through if I didn’t have God with me to keep me on path.”
A step forward
Now that she has completed that promise, Destra is setting out on a new phase of her life.
“I think that this second step is continuation. I am free again, but I’m still searching… I’m working at it,” she said honestly. “I’m not perfect.”
Accepting her shortcoming is a part of the work.
“None of us are perfect and we’d be fools to think that we are or to even judge others,” she said. “Everyone has to give account to God for themselves.”
For her, the real goal is getting in synch with one’s divine purpose.
“I hope that every year I could get back on track and every year I could become a little bit closer to that place that God has for me,” she added. “I hope that every year I could get closer and closer.”
It is an approach she adopted since her teenage years.
“I’ve been doing this since I was 15, fasting and praying every year for Lent and every year I get stronger,” she revealed. “Every year I get freer. Every year I stay on path a little bit more, but God knows best and I trust him. Whatever he has in store for me, I surrender.”
Making it make sense
Destra is aware of those who see a contradiction in her being on a Carnival stage and then leading a gospel concert. She has heard the questions. But she is no longer trying to make it comfortable for anyone else.
“If because I love Jesus people don’t want to hear me sing soca anymore, well that’s fine. And if because I love Jesus and I’m still singing soca, people don’t want to hear me talk about Jesus, that’s fine too,” she said.
“I know my truth, whether I’m existing in the realm of soca or in the realm of Lent, I know that God is with me regardless.
For her, the tension people feel does not reflect her mindset.
“Making the two work at the same time, is a work in progress,” she admitted.
And even the peace she talks about shifts from day to day.
“Today you feel all holy, you know, and tomorrow you feel like you lost it,” she said. “But I do feel when I’m going off course and God pulls me back. I feel it.”
Letting go and letting God
Stepping away from Carnival to complete her gospel work came with real fear.
“At the back of my mind there were fears… how would I pay my bills… how would I continue to provide,” she related.
But the pull to finish what she started was stronger.
“After a while it really did not matter,” she said, “something was driving me to finish what I started.”
That shift forced her to rethink her relationship with control, security and faith.
“You have to let go of everything that you’re worried about and let God take control,” she said. “God takes care of everything… And he has.”
It is not something she claims to have mastered.
“I am both a spiritual being and an entertainer,” she said “and whatever I do has to be in alignment with my faith.”
When it comes to outside opinions, she is clear about what matters.
“God is talking to my heart,” she said. “I don’t need to answer to anybody else. I’m free to be Destra.”
Still, she does not pretend to have everything figured out. Not even close.
“I’m still searching for who I am, who I want to be and who I am going to become… only God knows. I doh even understand it myself.”
And maybe that is what Reflections has become. Not a finished statement. Not a polished version of herself. But a space where she is willing to stand in front of people and live that search out loud.
In real time.
